Fear and Faith

We got some news at my last appointment that makes me nervous. At 18 weeks I was diagnosed with battledore placenta. Which means that my cord implanted on the edge of my placenta rather than in the middle where it normally should and does implant. This condition is incredibly rare and from what I can find online only occurs in 7% of all pregnancies. Ironically at my 24 week appointment my doctor told me that she has only seen this condition in three other patients during her time in practice and one of the patients happened to be hers--if that counts. I really can't find much information about battledore placenta. And as is usually the case when you look something up on the internet there is always someone who posts something horrible about their experience with this condition although you never really know if it is true. So, I have decided not to use the internet as a resource anymore. During my last appointment, Wednesday, my doctor told me that I will more than likely need to have a scheduled c-section due to BP. She also told me that the babies growth could drop off around 32 to 35 weeks. That is what she experienced. She said her son was 5 pounds 8 ounces.  So, ya, needless to say I am worried. This is my first pregnancy and we waited so long to get pregnant. I was just hoping that everything would go well and it was until I learned I had BP. Our little guy will be monitored very closely and we will have an ultra-sound every couple of weeks to check his growth. I am trying to allow my faith to be bigger than my fear, but its hard. I already love my son more than I could ever imagine, and I would do anything to keep him safe. I love you Bennett.